I’m wondering lately why we are prone to negative self-talk. It seems almost ingrained in our nature. It doesn’t help to recognize that we are surrounded by negativity: judgement, resentment, jealousy, anger, and more, are abundant everywhere. We hear a couple negative things from others and the mind can’t help but react with additional negative thoughts. It is a pattern. A habit. A way of life that we’ve known for too long. It is important to take time daily to remind our mind to stay on track and not get distracted by the “thoughts” we are trying to get our self to believe. “You aren’t good enough.” “You’re lazy.” “You’re so stupid.”

It is easy enough to say, “I am confident and am not bothered by what other people think of me.” Or, “I love myself and am full of confidence.” But it is easier to think: “Yeah, right, I’ll just stop being bothered by what people are thinking about me, and I’ll do it starting [snaps fingers] now. Oh, and I’ll go ahead and just ignore the bashing I do on myself while I’m at it.”

You can say your affirmation, but not really believe it. It takes time and commitment to change a habit, but if you put focus into this idea every day for a couple of weeks, you’ll be surprised how much better your thought-reactions can be!

I’d like to share a tip with you about building belief behind your affirmation.

Do you ever think about your future self? You know, the person you are striving to become on your transformational journey? Let me tell you something, she’s really amazing! She’s got her mindset clear and is radiating her light. When you can see yourself, in all your beautiful glory, all your (in)decisions become so much easier to make.

When you get stuck on negative self-talk, see if you can stop for a second and think of how your future self would react. Would future self take any time to be bothered by opinionated comments, or would she shrug it off knowing that others’ opinions have no true impact on how you continue to evolve?

Actually, future self can help in many situations. When the alarm goes off for you to get up for your early morning routine before the family starts needing you, you have two choices. You can snooze the alarm and go back to sleep, or you can put your feet on the floor, sit up, and set off on what you intended to do to give yourself the time and space to be your best.

We all want to be better in our future, so it is safe to say that future self would never push the snooze button. Future self is happy and fit and spreads light with loving kindness, all by turning off the alarm and taking action.

Use your future self to help you make your decisions today. Choices become easier to make when you have guidance from your future self. Set your affirmation with true positive transformation in mind, and the belief will come. Trust yourself, soon to be your future self!

Here are some affirmations you might consider adding to your list:

•    I am proud of all I have accomplished
•    I honor the best parts of myself and share them with others
•    Today I give myself permission to be greater than my fears
•    I feel comfortable with the decisions I make
•    My feelings of self esteem are strong
•    My feelings of self worth are strong
•    I have high self confidence
•    I realize I have the right to change my mind
•    I am always treated with consideration and respect
•    I believe in and trust myself
•    I choose to respond to criticism in a constructive way
•    I see criticism as information that empowers me

It can be difficult to stop and smell the roses when you are rushing around all the time, trying to keep on top of all you do and still connect meaningfully with others. But it is important to remember to find the rose in your every day.

“The difference between misery and happiness depends on what we do with our attention,” says Sharon Salzberg, author of the book Real Love: The Art of Mindful Connection. We choose to either focus on the positive or negative at every thought.

I heard it takes more muscles to frown than smile, yet with all the negativity we see in the media every day, is it surprising that those muscles aren’t being developed even more? That’s why it is essential to overcome potentially impulsive negative reactions to the events and people around us.

When we react positively, supportively, and lovingly with one another, we help create a positive impact beyond ourselves. We are all connected and the better we are to others, the better we will feel from others. It is a simple law of attraction. Some call it karma. Others practice metta. No matter what, we’re better off when we are good to others.

So why is it so hard for us to keep our attention to go towards happiness and not misery? Sometimes it is jealousy, sometimes it is self pity, sometimes it is being treated badly every day by someone in your life. The list is basically endless.

Hence the importance of at least once a day looking for a rose in your life. It can be an actual flower, but better if it is not. See the wonder in post-it notes keeping you organized, the sparkle of life in a child’s eye, ample food in your fridge, or the friendly neighbor who watered your plants for you last week.

The expression “look on the bright side,” is hard to hear when you have just been fired, live with a teenager, are not sure how you’ll manage to get through a divorce, or worse, loss of a loved one, or other difficult periods in our lives. But it is important that in everything there is a lesson, and in every thing we have a chance to decide to react to bring happiness or react to bring misery to the forefront of our attention.

Meditation is an important practice to cultivate into your daily life as it helps you remember to react as positively as you can in each situation. Additionally, making a practice of daily gratitude is essential to remaining positive. Some people find it helpful to write down what they are grateful for in their journal each morning.

Maintaining a daily practice of meditation and gratitude keeps attention clear and reactions more positive. It is good for us personally, which is in turn good for all around us. What rose will you see today?

Explore how to live a love-filled life of gratitude…

LOVE YOUR LIFE

Energy is constantly moving in every object, expanding and contracting at various speeds. Frequency is the rate at which this energy moves and is measured in hertz. Vibration is energy contracting and oscillation is energy expanding.

Everything in the universe has a particular frequency signature which allows our consciousness to determine one object from another.

In order to remain healthy, your body must vibrate at the right frequency. When our frequency is either too high or too low is when we get sick.

Maintaining a frequency emitting to the world in the range of 62-72 Hz will provide you with a sense of calmed balance and a centeredness that is already within you.

Some ways to maintain a healthy frequency includes:

1. Simply being aware of your emotions and further not letting outside influences disrupt your steady reaction to how you are feeling.
2. Mindfully choosing to consume the most natural, wholesome food you can and of course couple that with moderate exercise.
3. Spend time doing things you enjoy with people you love and provide positive reinforcement in your life (bonus points if the conversation results in laughter).
4. Consciously choosing to be kind to others, or helping others often.
5. Read and educate yourself on new topics.
6. Make time for sleep. Sleep is nature’s medicine. Lack of sleep increases stress levels, which causes great imbalance to both body and mind.
7. Meditation. Getting your mind to stop for even a few minutes every day does wonders to calm our reactions, helps us to accomplish more each day, and provides a sense of connection both to the outer world and our inner self.

Remember your frequency daily. Be good to the people (and objects for that matter) around you, and maintain a steady relationship to your emotions. Also, think not only about what you are “getting,” but also what you are emitting out into the world. What goes out comes back. Every action has an equal and opposite reaction.

You might be amazed to find the more and better you give, the more and better you get. And the more balanced your frequency will remain.

From the innovator Nikola Tesla: “If you want to find the secrets of the Universe, think in terms of energy, frequency and vibration.”

I’m living the dream. Even during a time of struggle, I am enjoying each moment to the fullest.

Of course it helps that I’m sitting poolside at an AirBnB apartment where I’m staying for a few days on the Greek island of Kea. It’s the first infinity pool I’ve been in that looks out over the ocean.

Every day we pry ourselves away from the hotel paradise to hike the ancient trails of Kea’s arid landscape. It is August-hot out there! My partner and I are sweating up a storm as the sun beats down on us, and we are loving every minute of it.

We value the ability of our bodies to move. We know that fresh air inhaled deeply will give us even more energy, that the varied scenery will exhilarate our minds, and even though it might sound slightly off, that the power it takes to go uphill will be returned on the way back down.

When there is no hurry to get there, no rush to beat the clock, when one can just be in the moment and enjoy what one has, there can be incredible peace within. Ok, yes, I know, it helps that I’m on vacation. One can’t always be so mindful when one’s boss is giving grief or the kids need to be fed…

But I drink in these moments. I absorb as much as I can because I know the sea won’t be my backyard for long. My mantra is to embrace it, to enjoy it as best I can. My attitude is to keep positive, even as sweat is dripping down my nose.

It can be hard to not let the negative things creep in and take over the beauty in life. But it is important to keep your mindset positive. Remember that everything is temporary – the good and the bad. Everything passes and we are left with alone with our thoughts.

So the question is: When I get back to my regular work schedule and pressures of mommy-hood, will I keep this energy, or will I let the daily distractions cloud my thoughts?

Honestly, I know the clouds will come. But every day I will meditate to keep the calm and every day I will resolve to think about the heat of the sun beating down on my glistening skin (and this will be easier once the snow starts falling in Wisconsin).

Actually, it sounds like a great task to add to my daily routine. A visual memory of the intensity of heat and climbing the steep rocky landscape. Discomfort of body can bring comfort of thought. It is all in how you think about the experience.

I hope you can look at your life situations in a positive perspective. Rather than focus on being frustrated that you have to cook yet another meal, think of the nourishment you are providing to yourself and/or your loved ones. Rather than be annoyed at the alarm clock going off to drag yourself out of bed to work, consider how lucky you are to have a job to work hard for.

Probably if you start to incorporate meditation into your daily life, seeing the positive will come more naturally to you. It isn’t that we should ignore the negative, or never get upset, but being mindful helps keep us out of the negativity rut that is easy to fall into.

Chin up, stay positive, and recognize the simple wonders of the life around you!

“It is all in your head.” Has anyone ever said this to you? It can be really frustrating to hear this, especially when you are having a bad day.

But the truth is: your mind holds the power to do what you tell it to do!

I’ve been walking around Athens, Greece, the past few days. On two different days I passed two different women wearing two different shirts, but both had the same phrase written in front: “Make your own happiness.”

What a sweet thing to read/see. For the past several years, the country’s people have been made to struggle by the government for financial troubles caused by the government. For years, the people have faced the austerities put upon them by the law.

My friends and family have taken pay cuts, seen decreases in their pensions, lost their jobs, and can barely afford their rent. In general it is a very sad situation to say the least. Even though the cafés are open and people are out at night doesn’t mean all is well.

But seeing these shirts and the loving, happy camaraderie among friends gives me such hope for my second home.

These ladies really get it. The situation might be miserable, but you can make your own happiness among the chaos.

Keeping a positive mindset is the most important step. Maintaining communication with others is right there behind it, especially in a very social country like Greece. Setting and achieving realistic goals is also very important. Knowing that you can accomplish things that are important to you gives you a great confidence and can bring you happiness.

Even in difficult times, we can achieve small victories, and increase our joy, increase our happiness. It really is all in the mind. Keep your mind on the positives, and do your best to not focus on the negative. Of course you can’t ignore big problems, but if you can manage to not dwell on them, it will make a huge difference.

Be sure to keep your expectations realistic (not too high) and celebrate the small victories.

When you can keep the disappointments from clouding your mind is a big achievement. Recognize that it is temporary. Look at the good that surrounds you and focus on that.

When you need some encouragement, connect with a friend, share a laugh or two, and look for the positives in your life. Help your mind get to the place of happiness.

My first yoga teacher really loved Padahastasana. He started us almost every class with a relaxed version. We would be in the pose until everyone got situated on our mats. Sometimes Darren would ask us to hold the pose for really a long time. I don’t think we ever were in the pose for less than a minute (unless we were the late comer) and it was usually more like two or three minutes, or more.

At first, it was a difficult pose to get into, not to mention hold for so long. My back wouldn’t loosen up, or I would start to feel dizzy, or my arms would start to get sore. I began to think it was maybe a sort of punishment!   

But then, after a few weeks, the pose started to feel like a break. I started to feel the benefit of the pose and as I grew stronger, the pose became like a secret connection to the deep peace each practice brought me.

This pose is good for your back, abdomen, and legs. By keeping the fold, your hamstrings find greater flexibility and your internal organs are massaged. A sort of inversion, the pose increases blood circulation (especially to the brain), which improves your concentration and keeps you calm.

Your calves and lower back also gain more flexibility, and as you breathe deep, and hold the pose with intent, you increase strength of the abdomen. It has been argued that this pose helps to lengthen the spine (making you taller!).

The pose also improves digestive disorders and if practiced regularly can remove fat from the abdominal area.

It is important to go gently into this pose so that you gain the strength you need to stay in it for a while. As you fold over, be sure to extend the top of your head out in front of you, always lengthening your spine. Tuck in your belly as you extend out and fold down into the pose.

It also helps to sort of sway a little once you are in the pose, to find the relaxation in it. Keep your nose as close to your knees/thighs as possible, without tucking your neck too far.

Be there are breathe. Find your calm strength, and as you rise back up at the end, draw your shoulders back and feel yourself that much taller.

I’ve been wanting to share my second favorite Evolv product: Fuel. It is a lemony yellow drink that replaces my craving for coffee in the morning, gives me super energy, and provides me with a great sense of calm.

Fuel has 82g of caffeine from green tea extract, natural lemon flavor, no artificial sweeteners, or flavors, or colors. I heard they use turmeric for the yellow color. It is super sweet, so sometimes I drink it in the afternoon rather than having something with sugar.

Adenosine Triphosphate (ATP) is produced naturally in your body’s cells and helps the body transfer energy. Evolv’s revolutionary ingredient in Fuel is ElevATP™ which can increase blood ATP levels as much as 64% with no increase in lactic acid and no increase in free radicals (oxidative stress). Read the study.

Fuel comes as a powder that you add to 10 or more ounces of water. Read more about Evolv products. Or let me know if you are interested in a sample, as I’m always happy to share my beloved Fuel!

Alright, I realize I’m serious behind on some very interesting topics out there, but this headline from 2003 confirmed something I’ve been wondering lately.

“Exercise has a more powerful impact on the brain than previously thought; may lead to improved treatments for disorders such as spinal cord injury” 

I’ll summarize the lengthy article, which covered several studies that indicate exercise has a greater impact on the brain than previously thought.

Exercise goes beyond helping your muscles. Exercising regularly helps reduce symptoms of depression. The increase in blood flow to brain plays a great part in this. This is important not only for the healthy among us, but also for the individuals recovering from vascular injuries and trauma and must spend significant time in bed.

The article shares findings from several experiments, in which mice, Macaque monkeys, or humans performed various exercises.

Cleveland Clinic Foundation’s study found that when elderly patients put mental focus on the exercise they performed, they became 15% stronger, as compared to the group that only exercised who gained 3% strength.

An earlier study, also lead by Dr. Guang Yue, showed that people who performed mental workouts only (no physical movement), were measured to be 13.5% stronger than their counterparts who did no such thinking. The power of our brains is amazing.    

The doctors involved believe that this is a big deal for patients who have long roads of physical therapy ahead of them. They predict that recovery times will be faster using this technique.

There is a particular interest in looking at the recovery from spinal cord injuries, as approximately 11,000 people in the U.S. yearly sustain a spinal cord injury.

One of the mice studies showed that mice who were given access to (flat-surface) running wheels before a spinal cord injury (I know, science, right?) reached a higher level of walking compared to their neighbors who did not have the running wheel in their cage before the spinal injury. Next study for them is to watch the recovery time with a running wheel after the spinal surgery.

The of the researchers in a University of California-Irvine study, Carl W. Cotman, PhD, said, “Translated into human terms, it means that individuals who are appropriately physically active may be able to protect themselves from depression — or be less depressed or relieved from depression — if they are physically active.”

Another study at the University of Texas Southwestern Medical Center showed that patients who incorporated exercise into their recovery saw a greater reduction in the symptoms of major depression than those who relied on medication alone.

The article also mentions a University of California-Irvine study (this is the macaque monkey one) that “demonstrated that regular aerobic exercise increases the number of capillaries in the motor cortex, a small area on the outer part of the brain that controls voluntary muscle movements.” The increased volume of capillaries leads scientists to believe the brain can help heal itself, inspires further research to see how exercise might help reduce the effects of aging, and increase recovery rates in patients of all types.

So when you are out walking, running, or inside lifting weights or even yoga, you might put some mental effort into your movements if you want to get stronger. Or if you are stuck in an airplane for many hours, try closing your eyes and imagining yourself performing your favorite exercise. I’m sure you can’t build your muscles mentally overnight, but these list of studies sure gives hope that our minds can put us in the direction of healing bodies!

In our ever-rushing society, we all have too much on our plate, never enough time, and an increasing level of stress. We’re taxed and feel the pressure to perform and meet the demands of our daily lives.

It is important to take steps every day to ensure you keep stress under control.

Exercise – or at least Move More

There are been enough studies on this for you to know and hopefully believe that exercises is good for us. Endorphins released after we exercise just makes us feel good. Any moderate amount of movement is good. Walking is probably the best way to start if you have been sitting for too long. If the stress is coming from your computer, walking is a great release. Especially if you can get outside and breathe fresh air.  

Dial Down the Caffeine

Caffeine gets most of us through the day. Especially when we are suffering from a lack of sleep. It just feeds the cycle. As a stimulant, it increases adrenaline in the body, which you might know is a stress hormone. https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/stress-management/in-depth/stress/art-20046037

Listen to Uplifting Music

Music serves as therapy for some people. Listening to relaxing music has been shown to lower blood pressure, heart rate, and anxiety! Playing music that makes you happy can actually lift your mood, which naturally causes you to relax. What’s more, singing can greatly improve your mood. Just check out this Time article Singing Changes Your Brain.

Be Grateful

This one should become completely natural for you. Take note of the very simple things in life that might be taken for granted. An example: when you are grumbling in your head about having to exercise, take a moment to recognize how amazing it is that you have the ability to walk and move your fully functioning body. Or: When you are asked to do one more thing when your task list is already maxed out, take a breath and be thankful you are needed. At the first sign of a negative, stress-filled thought, try to train yourself to immediately think of one thing that gives you calm.

Journal or Talk to Someone

Journaling can be very therapeutic. But it can also be harmful when you use it to “vent.” Venting, or sharing your complaints, is actually counterproductive from the Law of Attraction standpoint. The more negative you are, the more negative you’ll stay. Even when you are having a hard day, find something positive to share with a friend, or to write in your journal. This goes hand in hand with the mindset in the Be Grateful section above. If you are going to talk/write about negative or stressful situations, try to tap into how the situation makes you feel. The better you can connect to your emotions, the easier it will be to remove stress from your life.

Obviously an excellent way to deal with stress is just to keep it away completely! Once you can accept that you can’t control everything in your life, the easier it will be to keep a positive attitude.

Also, do what you can to relax, but try to find relaxation that doesn’t involve your computer or the TV. Play a board game, take up knitting or drawing, read a book, take a walk around the block. And don’t balk at the idea of taking a nap. Sometimes a lack of sleep is what is making us susceptible to stress in the first place.  

Being present in your daily life is very important, and taking a moment to take stock in the goodness that shines on you will help reduce that stress into a manageable portion.

Earthly attachment is a tricky thing. We love people and we love our memories. Our memories are kept alive through objects. Sometimes we get caught up in the objects we buy. As in the objects become precious and the desire to keep these safe can build some anxiety.

We don’t want to let go of what is so dear to us – neither people nor the objects we own, houses included. The thought of a friend or family member dying most likely brings tears to your eyes. And imagining an important object or beloved person being taken away can be heartbreaking. We can also be attached to ideas and self conceptions.

It is helpful to be mindful of these attachments. When the next someone new or something shiny comes into your life, see it an opportunity to practice loving detached acceptance.

The only way to be truly free is to remain detached from the objects and even people in our life. This doesn’t mean we shouldn’t LOVE extremely and intensely. We just remember these things outside ourselves are not US.

In terms of relationships, this means that you don’t try to control the other person in an attempt to “keep them safe.” You just accept them as they are. If you aren’t meant to be together, your friendship will fade naturally and hopefully love is not lost. But if you are aligned, you will gain a deeper relationship if you love like this, meeting the other person completely as they are.

That doesn’t mean you’ll not be sad if said person leaves your life, but rather you will have trust that another friend or dear person will come to fill that space. You are living your life, and people and objects come and go.

Basically, this means don’t cry over accidentally smashing two of your best serving bowls, despite having carried them with you to various apartments, across the ocean twice, for 20 years. Even if you are afraid that without them you won’t remember the parties you used them for when you’re 80. (Um, TMI?)

It is ok to be sad, but don’t dwell on it. In the moment you are scooping up the broken shards, revel in your memories. Think back on those great friendship gatherings, remembering the hummus you served in the one bowl, or that Thanksgiving when you had mashed potatoes in the bigger one. And then recognize that bringing these memories back now will give you a better chance to remember them when you’re 80 and hopefully keep you more present in each moment.

Then as you are placing the debris in the bin, ask yourself: What does having this beautiful treasure gone now open up for me in my life?

Loving detached acceptance gives you the freedom to enjoy all the people and things in your life, but keeps you mindful that not everything is permanent in life and certainly not in your control.